Thursday 18 January 2007

Is the craving physical or mental?

Day Seven
My daughter Cherry (a trained art therapist) rang. Her words of wisdom were that any craving now is not physical but mental. This is something of a revelation because checking it out she is correct. My need is for oral comfort – that is why I am sucking sweets and chocolat. Just how long will that take to go?
Day Eight
Not a good day energy-wise. I am consuming sugar and lots of it but at least that is, hopefully, only temporary.
On the positive side went into the bank and increased my regular savings by 20 euros to 40 per month. Of course I used to spend more than 20€ on fags - that’s only 4 packets. The bank assistant looked a bit worried at my request so I explained that “Je arrĂȘte le fumer” he smiled and processed my request. I know that smile, it is friendly but that could be amusement at my french accent, my incorrect use of French or the sentiment expressed – I am happy not to know. I bought more bon bons et chocolat. That afternoon I arranged to meet my friend Marie. The kid inside me rubbed her hands in glee because we were to meet in a bar/cafĂ© and Marie is a smoker. I offer to buy just one cigarette from her – but she insists that I have it for free. My God it was a menthol cigarette – why would anyone want to disguise the taste of tobacco? I take a couple of very unsatisfactory puffs and save the rest for later. AT home, the dog end is rolled up with the one rolling paper that I have carefully hidden away. After dinner just as I was settling to enjoy this the phone rang. What a waste.

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